Have you even been in love? Horrible, isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means that someone can get up inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life. You give them a piece of you. They don’t ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness so a simple phrase like ‘Maybe we should just be friends’ or ‘How very perceptive’ turns into a glass splinter working it’s way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love. I hate love.
Dita Von Teese
- Broken up with my last partner of 5 months. We remain friends.
- But, met somebody new. A lovely woman named Sydney who is now my girlfriend.
- Have made a home at my co-op, the Oxford House, with 38 other girls.
- Declared as a theater major. I will be working towards becoming some sort of upper level teacher/instructor in the field.
- Gained a few pounds. Freshman 15 isn’t a joke, folks.
- Made a butt-load of new friends.
- Discovered that weed (drugs in general) and college don’t go together.
- Realized the importance of my family and my friends at home.
- Have grown out my hair. Not by choice, but anyways, it’s long now.
- Gotten into Breaking Bad and American Horror Story: Asylum.
- Learned an immense amount about all the subjects I’ve taken this past Fall term.
- Once again learned not to judge a book by its cover.
- Above all, I learned that a transition like going to college for the first time is a big deal. For those of you who don’t know, I’m a freshman at the Oregon State University. I live on campus. I dealt with a great deal of sadness, confusion, and anger. I’m still dealing with it. However, I’ve grown a great amount in the past few months and I’m looking forward to my continued growth and progress.
I have missed you so during these past few months. I thought college would bring us closer but alas, we have been distanced. I miss you and the infinite scrolling I am able to do upon your pages and pages of images. Winter break will take hold of my life very soon- I have just two more exams to complete before the luxury of vacation will greet me. We will reunite soon, dearest Tumblr.
Your long lost addict,